Here’s an article written by the guys at DIYFather.com If you’re a dad-to-be this will no doubt press some buttons for you and get you thinking about the forthcoming changes to your life. If you’re a mum-to-be it’s a useful insight into what dad’s have to cope with!

If you have just been told that you are going to be a dad for the first time or have just been delivered a new baby its fair to say that you are probably feeling a little bit apprehensive at the moment. The great thing about is that millions of dads before you have felt exactly like you are feeling right now. The other thing you may have noticed is that there is tons of advice via books, websites, video and courses. The list is almost endless.

Whilst there is no shortage of information out there here are three ‘unwritten rules’ to remember as you hop onto the dad rollercoaster. You will need to make dozens of decisions every day however keeping the following foremost in your mind will assist you make the right choices for your family.

1. First get used to second. You are probably going to feel second in line. Your partner is feeling real maternal right now and is preoccupied with things like caring for babies every need and breastfeeding. You can assist by helping. Can you get up and bring the crying baby to bed for mum? Change nappies? Warm bottles? Put baby down again? Even though they may be few and far between hang on to those moments when your partner smiles and says thanks for being a great dad. Lets face it guys if you’ve got enough time to feel sorry for your newly acquired ‘second in line ‘ status you obviously need to harden up and get stuck in around the home to help. By the way – this condition is temporary, it passes.

2. Grow Teflon on your back. Your partner has gone through a pretty traumatic time. An alien has invaded her body and nine months later has decided that it wants out but is still reliant on mum for everything. Your partner’s body has changed however some new mothers also get very emotional. In the past this was called post natal depression. This may be full on or only a little. The thing to remember here is to once again harden up. You may be the target of some pretty tough criticism, abuse and insults. Use your newly acquired ‘Teflon back’ and let these roll off you. A great tactic here is to counter at well timed moments with comments about how you think shes doing a great job as a mum or how sexy she still looks will mean a lot to a mum who is struggling with a new full on attention seeking baby.

3. The perfect happy child and family only exist on cornflake packets and in equally corny TV sit-coms. If you find a book on raising the perfect child – bin it. Don’t attempt to live up to unreal fantasies and some marketer’s conception of reality. Everyone makes mistakes. Try you best and if you have a partner and a child that knows that you unconditionally want them, need them and love them then you are well on the way to being pretty a contented perfect family.

So go forth and be a dad. Enjoy those first months. It’s a cliché but it really does rush by and before you know it you will be buying a school uniform, packing their lunch and sending them off to school every day. Once that happens you will want to look back with fondness at those first few months. Make sure you have good memories by adopting these three simple tactics.

Get used to second, grow Teflon and make mistakes… the nuts and bolts will follow.
 
DIYFather.com – Who are we?

‘Its great to be a dad’ This is the catch cry often heard at DIYfather.com. DIYfather’s directors and staff are all passionate and engaged dads. DIYFather Limited is a NZ business who has made some inroads into the parenting landscape in NZ. DIY have been operating for a couple of years and have made some beneficial and useful relationships with organisations such as Parents Centres, Plunket and central Government agencies such as MSD and Families Commission. Tons of dad advice and experience on www.diyfather.com

Thinking about antenatal classes? Parents Centre run excellent Childbirth Education Classes throughout New Zealand. Contact your local centre or go to parentscentre.org.nz for details.

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